Shane, Lemony, and Ocean Animals

Years ago, when Shane and Lemony were dating and then in the early years of their marriage, until Lemony became pregnant with Nathaniel, the two of them worked on a team of swimmers in Monterey, attached to the Monterey Bay Aquarium and the Sausalito Mammal Center, who rescued sick and beach sea mammals. Those that could be saved locally were delivered to the Monterey Bay Aquarium. Typically, these were the smaller animals who were lightly wounded or simply sick, such as sea otters. The more seriously ill mammals were taken all the way to Sausalito, a drive of nearly three hours.

From the time he received his license at age 16, Shane was the driver of choice for the trips to Sausalito even though technically he should have been 21 before being given this responsibility. Nearly always, he would stop in Salts at our house, which was near the beginning of the trek up Route 101 to San Francisco. I would always make him a meal, and while he was eating, I would be be treated to an up close and personal meeting with the rescued animal in the back of the transport truck. I have met at touching distance (although I knew better than to touch) walruses, sea lions, seals, and a host of other interesting animals that one never sees at such close range. After delivering his special charge, Shane would nearly always follow up on the animal's progress until it was released back into the open sea.

Unfortunately, Lemony was not allowed to do sea rescue while pregnant. She did go back to it for a short while when Nathaniel grew a little older, but after the birth of Nikolina, for whom there are no qualified babysitters, the days of animal rescue were in the past. From that point on, Shane and Lemony spent a few days a month nearly every month at the Aquarium with Nathaniel and Nikolina, who love the animals. They are all members of the Aquarium and can come and go whenever they wish.

That is about to come to an end, however. Shane has just been transferred (by request for financial reasons) to Sacramento. Lemony, kids, and Shane will be here only one more month. Talking to Lemony today, she related a list of the many things that must be accomplished before they can leave town (things like packing, weeding out possessions, getting medical and school records -- and visiting the Aquarium). I sensed that the Aquarium is going to be near the top of the list of things that they will miss.

I hope that they will find an inland way of helping God's other critters. There is certainly a different world of animals awaiting young Nathaniel and Nikolina in our amazing world that differs so immensely from place to place. Right now, they are feeling a sense of loss; perhaps soon they will feel a sense of gain.

The Incredible Power of a Mother's Love

Today Donnie and I went to veterans' park to watch Nathaniel play baseball again. He is gaining some skill: this time he only needed to use the T once in order to hit the ball. We bought some pictures of him in his catcher's outfit, playing outfield, and attempting to hit the ball. What he is pretty good at is running, which he does joyfully.

Movement became the topic of our after-ball lunch with Lemony, Nathaniel, and Nikolina. (Shane had to go to work right after the fame finished.) When we last talked a mere two weeks ago, Shane revealed that it seemed clear that Nikolina had no feeling in her legs and was therefore paraplegic, a condition that he found acceptable, given that she is alive, cute, and even better, happy.

Since the last time we have had a chance to talk, however, 13-month Nikolina has begun an attempt to crawl -- awkward, weak, and mostly propelled by her arms, but a crawl nonetheless. Lemony has never given up on Nikolina's being able to walk even when it seemed clear that Nikolina has limited feeling and very weak legs. That is in addition to hip dysplasia which will make walking difficult. Lemony, who is at home full-time, has worked unceasingly with Nikolina, never failing in her optimism.

Since the last time we have had a chance to talk, Shane and Lemony have met with an orthopedic specialist at Stanford University Hospital. Once more, blessings are being showered on the clan of Mahlou, in support of Lemony's optimism. The doctor confirmed that it is possible that Nikolina will walk. She may need crutches but may escape the need for braces. It will take much longer for her to begin walking than for other kids because her legs were bound post-surgery for four months and the muscles did not begin to develop until after the binding was removed. That, and the spina bifida, has significantly retarded her crawling and walking, and the latter (spina bifida) is the reason for her limited sensation. But she does have some feeling, and it appears to be enough. Whatever she ends up being able to do motor-wise will be a wondrous and unexpected gift.

Right now, watching Nikolina at the table in the restaurant, we can state with certainly -- no doctor input needed -- that she is already an intelligent little girl with enormously large, deep, and knowing eyes that transfix everyone who looks at them. Weak legs, no legs, perfect legs, it does not matter. Nikolina is quickly becoming a force to be reckoned with! (Like Mom Lemony!)

Ah, the power of a mother's love -- with help from Above!

Happy Mother's Day!

Beyond Why Not Me?

Recently, in boarding a small plane, I found myself in seat 11A. (Now, this is, of course, better than the seat I once held on another small plane: 13A. In that case, the odd thing about 13A was that the last row was 11. I had begun to wonder whether my seat was on the wing or in the bathroom, when the stewardess told me to take any open seat; seat 13A is the number used when planes are overbooked, which I find to be an interesting piece of trivia that I will keep in mind the next time I am assigned seat 13A.) As it turned out, seat 11A was a non-reclining seat, located in a row of five seats across the back of the plane. It was almost like riding a bus, but as good fortune would have it, I turned out to be alone, so I had the comfort of four seats. Actually, as a premier executive flyer on United Airlines, I was entitled to much better seats, but somehow my frequent flier number had been missed by the ticket agent and therefore I had been put in with the rank and file, in the rankest position, actually. I eyed passengers with blue tickets as they sat down in better seats than I, with my gold card, had been accorded. Then I thought, someone has to sit in row 11, so why not me? That thought made my flight back much more pleasant than it would have been had I asked the why-me question -- and I really enjoyed the four-seat expanse.

The why-not-me question avoids a lot of stress and angst. For example, when our children (Noelle and Doah) were born with birth defects, I never asked why me. I cannot tell you why that question never crossed my mind; it just never did. Neither did Donnie think of that question. If we were to have asked a question, it would have been why not us.

The next generation is following that same path. Shane and Lemony first had a baby with hydronephrosis. That was Nathaniel, born Christmas day 2001. For a year, his urine was collected externally. Then he had five surgeries, the last of which "took." Every year he returns to San Francisco for an annual check-up. He has four more years to go, after which he will be declared "cured." Yeah! Last year at this time, Nathaniel's sister Nikolina showed up -- disassembled. Readers have followed her progress from unlikely-to-live to cheerful and spunky one-year old, who has met all her intellectual milestones. The physical ones are a little different. Following her August neurosurgery, doctors had been optimistic that she would be able to walk, but it turns out that the optimism was misplaced. Now a year old, Nikolina has not had any desire to stand. Today, at Nathaniel's baseball game, as Nikolina sat in her stroller, paying no attention to her right leg which had somehow ended up propped at an angle against the side of the stroller, Shane confirmed that Nikolina does not have feeling in her legs. So, it looks like she may be paraplegic like her Aunt Noelle, our younger daughter, now 32. It will be interesting to find out how much more doctors will be able to do for Nikolina than they were able to do for Noelle, who was in braces for 21 years and then had to give them up for a wheelchair. And no, neither Shane and Lemony, as the parents, nor Donnie and I, as the grandparents, have any desire to search for an answer to the question, why me? These things happen; they are a combination of genetics, environmental influences, and pure chance. So, why not us? We all love both these kids, and like their Aunt Noelle and Uncle Doah, they are likely to make their own kind of positive contribution to the world around them.

Now Lizzie has decided that, given her 40% chance of having a baby with birth defects, she would prefer to adopt rather than create another handicapped child. Recently she told me that she has encountered a dilemma: whether to adopt a "normal" child or a child with birth defects. She feels that she would cope easier with combining parenting and work if she were to adopt a child with just the average range of health complaints. On the other hand, she feels that she should develop a handicapped child because as sister to two handicapped adults and aunt to two handicapped children, in addition to her background in neuroscience, brain pathology, and biology, she is uniquely qualified to parent a child with nearly any kind of birth defect. I think she has just taken a step beyond her parents and why-not-me thinking! I don't quite know how to name that step but I guess it might be something like, "Send it my way; I'm ready!" Think how many parentless handicapped kids would be adopted if everyone would/could take that step!

(Sorry for the double-posting for those of you who also read Blest Atheist -- it was too difficult to decide whether this was a general interest post [BA] or a family post [Clan of Mahlou], so I avoided the need to decide by posting in both locations although I try not to do that very often.)